Scott: Do I Have a Bridge to Sell You!

Do I have a bridge to sell you!

Want to make a super deal?

Most exclusive, most superior,

Just the best and hugely real.

I’ve got watches, I’ve got purses,

I’ve got guys to fix your bid,

I’ve got people who’ll procure you

Anything you’ll ever need.

What, you’re leaving? Are you stupid?

Do you think I’ll ask you there?

Listen, listen, are you listening?

There’s more bridges to compare!

Do you want a plastic ducky?

I am giving them away,

I’ll just need a favor later,

Just for me, for me, ok?

Can I interest you in fashions

That look like the real thing?

Girls? Oh, wait, what am I thinking

A nice boy to fit your need?

There must be something you covet,

I’ll make you a super deal

And I’ll throw in a certificate,

Which, believe me, is all real!